


The Great Escape

by thejokeristhethief



Series: So This Is Home [12]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Beaches, Campfires, Camping, Domestic Fluff, Family Bonding, Multi, Wash has a filthy mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 11:19:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8204111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejokeristhethief/pseuds/thejokeristhethief
Summary: After a busy summer, North finally gets some time off. Family bonding in the form of camping happens. Things get testy when South brings up the age difference in their relationship, but Wash gets his revenge. And Theta finally gets to have a campfire cook-out.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [disney_rox_my_sox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/disney_rox_my_sox/gifts).



> Happy birthday V. It's a little late, but here's part one!

The waves crash on the shore, mingling with the sound of children shrieking in delight. Wash’s tongue peeks out from between his lips, betraying his level of concentration on keeping his hands steady as the feather slides carefully into the elaborately constructed tower of the elegant, and frankly massive, sandcastle. On the other side, Theta watches anxiously, holding his breath as his dad’s boyfriend puts the finishing touches on the structure they’ve spent the better part of the afternoon assembling. North smiles as his son releases a cheer at their success, before carefully stepping around the three foot tall fortress of sand, rocks, and feathers to offer Wash a high five. The young man grins, slapping Theta’s palm. A second later his kid is being thrown over his lover’s shoulder and rushed towards the water, shouting in surprise. They make it three feet into the lake before Wash dives, taking Theta under with him. Both come up sputtering and giggling. His kid immediately starts a splash war, soaking the blonde in another wave of water. The scene melts North’s heart completely. Satisfied that his kid is being well looked after, he scans the beach for his other lover.

He doesn’t have to look far, because a moment later a voice calls out. “Hey Uncle York, catch!”

His eyes widen in horror and North scrambles to his feet even though he knows he’ll be too late to make it. The brunette barrels passed him with a curse, desperately chasing the off target frisbee in the small chance it can be caught before crashing into the sandcastle. A hand belonging to neither of them snatches it from midair a mere inch from the middle tower. York’s eyes fix on the hand clutching the stupid disc of plastic like it’s a lifeline saving him from drowning. The frisbee flips twice before that blessed hand presses it firmly into the brunette’s chest. North sighs in relief as his sister scolds his lover. “Control your toys better, York. My nephew would be devastated if you knocked over his work of art. And god only knows how much your child bride would cry.”

York switches from thankful to defensive as soon as South opens her mouth. “Don’t call him that, bitch. Wash isn’t a child. Trust me.”

“What’s the matter, York? Can’t deal with someone pointing out the fact you’re dating a guy that’s barely old enough to drink? Does it turn you on knowing he’s barely legal? Do you like feeling like you’re corrupting his innocence?” Her smirk grows larger as York’s distress becomes more evident. Before North can put an end to his lover’s torment, South opens her mouth again. “That’s pretty sick, York. What kind of pervert are you?”

North braces himself for York’s response, expecting anger. But instead, the brunette begins to laugh. “Corrupting Wash? Are you serious? Damn, I knew North was smarter than you, but I didn’t realize you were actually stupid. The only person in our relationship doing any sort of corrupting **is** Wash. He may have just turned 21 but I guarantee he has more experience with crazy shit than you do and you’re what? Seven years older than him? And really, if you’re calling me sick for dating someone 5 years younger than me, then what does that say about North?”

“That he’s a creepy, cradle robbing pervert?” Wash pipes up from behind them, dragging a hand through his dripping hair to push it away from his face. The casual insult is thrown out so mockingly that even South has a laugh startled from her. The younger man offers them an innocent smile. “Really South, you don’t have to worry about protecting my virtue, or whatever you’re on about. North is a perfect gentleman and York’s almost as innocent as Theta. Do you know how long it took me to convince him to tie me up and spank me? The poor guy almost died when I suggested it. Never seen anyone turn that color of purple before. But I guess choking does that to a guy. Even it it is only on your own tongue.”

South does just that, eyes widening comically as she quickly scans their faces for confirmation. When she gets to York’s face, flushed with embarrassment, she drops her gaze to the ground, clearing her throat to hide the fact that ‘innocent’ Wash managed to fluster her so much. North contemplates saving his sister, but before he can decide, Delta interrupts them, skidding to a stop inches from bowling Wash over, spraying sand across their feet in the process. “Uncle York, can I have the frisbee back? Theta, Junior, and I are going to play with it in the lake, OK?”

“Of course, kid. Just not too deep, OK?” York tosses the frisbee over in a lazy throw that has it drifting smoothly across the short distance. The teenager catches it with a flourish, grinning at them. Spinning around, York’s 16 year old nephew waves the disc triumphantly in the air, heading back over the sand. The other boys join him, conversing in loud, excited shouts. The brunette calls after them. “Stay in sight guys! No deeper than your waists. D, make sure you don’t throw it too far. And come in when you’re tired, OK?”

“Yeah, got it Uncle. Don’t worry so much.” Delta waves a hand dismissively at him , already half a dozen steps into the water. York watches with concern for a few moments until North nudges him.

“Relax, love. They’re old enough to be in the water without an adult. And they can all swim.” He wraps a hand around one of the brunette’s, tugging him back towards the blanket and large umbrella set up on the edge of the sand. “Both Wash and I need more sunscreen applied. Would you do my back?”

The temptation that offers is enough of a distraction for York, and North easily leads him over to their other lover and the bottle of lotion promising protection from lobster red skin. Not for the first time today, jealousy flares up when he takes in the tanned expanse of the brunette’s skin. York rarely uses sunscreen, only really needing it at the beginning of summer and on particularly brutal days. But a camping trip in late August is neither of these, and the other man hasn’t touched the sunscreen in over a month, other than to apply it to either his or Wash’s back. For North, it’s equal parts revenge and pleasure. He enjoys York’s strong, warm hands rubbing lotion into his skin. And it’s always amusing to listen to him complain about how slimy it feels between his fingers. If the brunette doesn’t have to wear the slippery nastiness, then the least he can do is even it out so they all have it between their fingers. Besides, if he didn’t ask, York would probably be offended.

Flopping down on his stomach, North snags the bottle from Wash and passes it back. “York’s going to do our backs, Wash.”

“Mmm, yes! I love it when York does my back.” The blonde lets out a fake moan that has South shifting uncomfortably. Apparently his younger lover isn’t finished tormenting his sister in revenge. North reminds himself, for the countless time, not to get on Wash’s bad side. His grudges don’t last long most of the time, but those moments before forgiveness are downright torturous. It seems like revenge for tormenting York about their age difference lasts for more than a few embarrassing comments. “His hands are so strong and he’s so good with them. He rubs me just right, you know? Pure bliss.”

“Oook.” South groans, pushing herself to her feet and peeling off her shirt. Dropping it on Wash’s head, she heads towards the lake. “That’s disgusting. Your boytoy is nasty, North. I feel dirty. I’m going for a swim.”

“You’re just jealous! All that talk about York’s amazing hands has you hot and bothered. Don’t worry, South. It’s a natural reaction. We all have it.” Wash calls after her, self-satisfied grin evident in his voice. A handful of other beach visitors glare his way, obviously unimpressed with their somewhat loud and inappropriate conversation. North offers them an apologetic shrug as Wash slumps back down on the blanket. “North, your sister is a pain in my ass. I still can’t tell whether she hates me or not.”

“Oh she doesn’t, love. She just likes to torment York and you’re an easy subject to use. Before you there were other things she’d bring up. Carolina being one of them.” He can’t help the dark note that works it’s way into his voice. For the longest time at the beginning of their relationship, South was convinced York was sleeping with the redhead that practically introduced them. It caused plenty of issues, leading to their first substantial fight and a brief breakup. South still brings it up on occasion, and every time she does, North has to restrain himself from strangling her. “Trust me, it’s not you. South just doesn’t think anyone is good enough for me. It’s her way of taking care of me, testing you, I mean. South can be a bitch, but she always does what she thinks she needs to to have my back. Just ignore it. That’s what the rest of us do.”

“Wait.. She doesn’t like you and York together?” Wash sounds baffled at this revelation. “But that doesn’t make sense. She told me… she said you were perfect together, that you fit together in a way that just belonged. And she told me that if I fucked with your relationship and screwed it up, the only place I’d fit in would be an urn because she’d light my ass on fire.”

York actually snorts, amusement clouding the sound. “If she ever heard you tell us that, I’m sure she’d bury you alive.”

“Yeah, probably.” North sighs. “But she’s my twin. She watched people take advantage of me my entire life. She just wants to make sure I’m ok.”

“Fair enough. York, hurry up and do my back. I want to take a nap in the sun but I don’t want to burn.” Wash closes the discussion with his demand, but not before North sees the contemplative look the young man tosses in South’s direction. He watches as York straddles the other blonde, settling over him and squirting some of the sun-warmed lotion onto the canvas of freckles that makes up Wash’s back. The brunette works the sunscreen in thoroughly, making sure all their lover’s freckled skin is protected. The entire process takes less than ten minutes, and before North has time to really enjoy the show, Wash is rolling to his feet and moving down the blanket into the sun. North’s so distracted with watching his youngest lover that he nearly forgets he asked York to do his back.

North jumps with shock when York’s weight settles over his ass. Lotion dribbles on his skin before the brunette’s hands swipe through it, spreading it over his back and massaging it into his skin in slow, sensual movements. He releases a low moan that has York chuckling. “Mm, god York. Your hands are magic. Feels so good.”

“Babe, now is not the time to instigate anything sexual. And when you make those sounds, I have a hard time controlling myself.” The growing bulge in York’s shorts drives his statement home and North takes a deep breath, focusing on things that aren’t as arousing as his lover’s hands. When he finally lets go and relaxes fully, he finds himself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

They let him sleep for a few hours before allowing Theta to wake him up. His son does so by standing over him, dripping water. “Daddd. I’m cold and hungry. Wash says we can’t eat until we pack up everything and move it back to the campsite. And we can’t pack the blanket if you’re sleeping on it. So wake up.”

“Ngh. Theta, you’re dripping on me. You and Junior go and get changed out of your wet bathing suits. I’ll meet you up at the campsite with the blanket and anything else that is left here.” He issues orders as he rolls over, eying the shivering children. On the other side of him, York is packing up the cooler, tossing empty drink cans and a half finished bag of chips into it for later disposal. “Hey York? Do you think you could get a fire going for hot dogs? The kids are hungry and it’s going to take a bit for the fire to be warm enough.”

“I already sent Wash and Delta up to do it.” York shakes out Delta’s lime green towel, folding it neatly. North scrambles off the blanket at that news, a worried frown crossing his face. He immediately sets about cleaning the sand off the blanket, moving it over to the grass to shake off. The brunette laughs. “Don’t worry, D was in boy-scouts. He knows how to light a fire. I’m sure Wash can’t get into too much trouble when he’s around to help.”

North can’t help the skeptical sound that comes unbidden from within. “I think you underestimate our lover. I just hope he doesn’t burn the forest down.”

“Aww, come on North. Wash isn’t that bad.” York shakes his head, picking up the frisbee and scanning the beach a final time. “Anyway, no need to worry. We’re headed up there right now anyway. Oh, by the way, South headed out about an hour ago. Said to tell you she’d see you Tuesday.”

“Yeah, and I don’t see any shooting flames or huge clouds of smoke. So we’re probably ok. I just hope he hasn’t burned himself. And thanks for reminding me. I’m meeting her for lunch on Tuesday. She has some big news to tell me or something.” North says over his shoulder as he starts up the narrow path that leads to the back corner of the campground. Their site might be a few minute walk from the beach, but it’s also in a secluded, empty area. And it connects to a grassy little inlet sheltered from the sight of the beach. North briefly considers the possibility of a naked, late night dip. Maybe he’ll have to bring that up to his lover’s later.

Rounding the last twist, North takes in the scene before him. Wash is kneeling in front of the fire pit, feeding a small log into a growing fire. Delta sits at the table, opening bags of pierogies, hot dogs, and buns. York hip checks him in passing. “See, told you it’d be fine. Look at that fire. In about 10 minutes it’ll be a perfect cooking fire. Good job guys!”

A rustling in the tent across the campsite preludes the sound of a zipper, and suddenly Junior and Theta are tumbling into the grass, giggling at each other. Theta pops up from the ground, offering Junior a hand up. The other kid bounces to his feet quickly, and the two friends run towards the fire. Fear shoots up North’s spine as they approach without slowing. It’s Wash that calls them to a halt, however. “Boys. What did I say about running around the fire? What if you tripped and fell into it? Then we’d all starve because you ruined our fire!”

“Sorry Wash.” Junior looks down at the dirt, scuffing his foot through it, a habit picked up from Theta.

North’s kid, however, just levels Wash with a rebellious look. “Is that all you care about? The food? What if one of us got seriously hurt. We could be burned bad! And all you care about is whether you can - oh. Good point. No running by the fire. Sorry.”

It seems Theta talked himself into the real reason why Wash doesn’t want him to run near the fire, because his steps are careful for the rest of his approach. Junior follows his example, and moments later they’re joining Delta at the table, opening condiments for their dinner. North smiles, dropping the beach blanket in the grass near the path and collecting the roasting sticks from the car. He passes one to each of the kids. “I suggest making your bun up before you start roasting your hot dogs. But have at ‘er guys. Just don’t stick it directly in the flame. And if it catches fire, don’t wave it around. OK?”

“Ok dad.” Theta answers for all of them, already dumping ketchup onto his bun. Junior accepts the ketchup from him seconds later, and then the boys are feeding hot dogs on their sticks like Delta demonstrates.

“Hey babe.” York plops down beside him, own stick in hand. “Want me to cook you one as well?

He leans in to steal a kiss from York’s perfect lips. “Please. That would be amazing. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started smelling food. I’ll make up buns for you and Wash. Same as always?”

“Yep. Hey Washy, I’ll cook you a hot dog if you cook us some pierogies? You know, since they were your idea.” Wash turns towards them when York asks, offering him a huge grin.

Sauntering around the three boys gathered close to the fire, the younger blonde joins them at the table. Collecting a kiss from each of them, Wash grabs the last roasting stick, skewering four pierogies on it. “I hope this works. I got the idea of Mulan. Although I’m sure whatever Mushu was roasting weren’t pierogies. But meh.”

North watches fondly as his two lovers join the children around the fire. A few minutes later, the two men present him with a slightly charred hotdog and a perfectly golden brown pierogi. Wash settles onto the bench of the picnic table on his left and York joins him on his right, pressing their legs together. As he eats his fire cooked dinner, he dwells on the fact that this has been one of the best weekends he’s had in ages. The only thing that could make it better is dessert. He can’t wait to introduce his son and Wash to s’mores.


End file.
